i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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