I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
thus making me awesome and them whores
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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