I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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