miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Randomize
