The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
