Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
