Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
