why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
