I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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