I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
