wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
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