Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
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