I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
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