Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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