Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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