just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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