just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize
