i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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