ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
