He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize