hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
