This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I love you. Go after that dick
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
