i think my tv is drunk
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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