I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
