it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
