and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Randomize
