told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
