mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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