as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize