no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Liz is crying about burritos again.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I fill condoms, not promises.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
