The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
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and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
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SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS