she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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