Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice