I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
