she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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