this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Randomize
