So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
