I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
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