I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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