I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
