I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
