PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Is her dick bigger than yours?
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize
