Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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