I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
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