if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
