if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
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