I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
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