it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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