I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
