the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
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