Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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