So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
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