the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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