I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Randomize
