sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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