i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
He shit in the fireplace
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
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