the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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