She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
