these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
