i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Randomize
