honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
There was a lot of him and a little penis
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
