your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday