I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
17 of the Dumbest Defenses Heard in Court
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
These 19 Ladies Love Pegging Their Men
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."