he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
