She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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