I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
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