We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
