You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
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He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
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It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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