I want to walk on stilts...naked
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
