the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize